188: Mr. Spudd™

ENTRY 188: Mr. Spudd™

Lima Farms is a small beehive habitat in orbit around Mercury, specializing in pre-packaged “seed” packages of yams, potatoes, turnips, and other root vegetables for other habitats to start their own subsistence farming. In addition, the smaller experimental farms on the outskirts of the hive are used by eco-conservationists and artisanal farmers to cultivate newly engineered and relict species of potato from the Lima Farms seedbank—more than 1400 varieties at last count, with many grown nowhere else and presumed extinct even on Earth. To help promote their conservation work and commercial production, Lima Farms has tried a number of different advertising campaigns in the Planetary Consortium. Arguably, their most successful is Mr. Spudd™.

The “first human/potato hybrid,” Mr. Spudd™ began his life as Juan Jiminez (“J.J.”) Achira, a nutritionist and cultivator specializing in Incan foodstuffs, who agreed to resleeve into the morph to help teach people about the benefits and cultivation of the potato and other edible tubers. The morph itself looks perfectly human, which is mildly disappointing to many transhumans who thought they’d be looking at a six-foot tuber with arms and legs or a shambling mass with potatoes growing out of it; the incorporation of potato DNA into the transhuman genetic material was done selectively to cause Mr. Spudd™ to produce a number of plant-based proteins and related substances, which among other things give him a notable potato-like smell. However, in recognition of people’s expectations Mr. Spudd™ has submitted to additional (mostly cosmetic) procedures to cater to tourists looking for something a bit more exotic.

COG	COO	INT	REF	SAV	SOM	WIL	MOX
16	18	15	22	15	16	13	-
INIT	SPD	LUC	TT	IR	DUR	WT	DR
7	1	26	5	52	30	6	45

Morph: Splicer

Skills: Academics: Biology (Potato) 65, Academics: Genetics (Potato) 45, Academics: Nutrition 70, Art: Potato Sculpting 50, Free Fall (Microgravity) 55, Interests: Incan Culture 70, Interests: Microgravity Farming 45, Interests: Potato Research 55, Interfacing 30, Kinesis: 40, Language: Native Spanish 85, Language: English 70, Language: Portuguese 70, Language: Incan 56, Networking: Autonomists (Ecoconservatives) 36, Networking: Hypercorps (Agricorps) 50, Networking: Scientists 44, Research 48, Scrounging (Potatoes) 55

Implants: Basic Biomods, Basic Mesh Inserts, Bodysculpting (rough, tuber-like skin; no fingernails, toenails, navel, body hair, or teeth; head hair replaced with green “stalk” usually tied back in a ponytail), Cortical Stack, Scent Alteration (potato), 20 EasyGraft Universal Bioports*

Traits: Uncanny Valley

* See entry 124: EasyGraft. These bioports are sculpted to resemble dark depressions in Mr. Spudd™’s skin, like the “eyes” of a potato, and Mr. Spudd™ can freely move around his existing sensory organs (six eyes, four ears, two tongues, and three noses) to different ports on his body.

Seed

• Mr. Spudd™ has lost an eye! Can you find it before rival commercial tuber growers can crack his partially potato genome and produce their own rival mascot, Madame Yam? Mr. Spudd™ is sure to be so grateful he’ll give you all the tubers you can eat—and that’s not all! It will make the children happy too, with a nice rep boost for the friendly PCs. But look out! That rival grower faction wants to splice cocaine into their super-yams, and they’re being backed by some not-nice people at all…